"Because There Is a War On For Your Mind"

2009-05-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life seems very confusing. I think growing up mostly entails realizing that nothing is as simple as it used to be and generally everything is just plain hard.

I wish there was clarity where there is only fog.

I feel pulled in many different directions and I haven't the slightest idea where I'm supposed to be going.

Maybe I'm afraid of change.

There are so many things I want to say, but so few words that express what is in my heart.

I really wish I could talk to you.

I want to cry on my Father's shoulder.

2009-04-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

The other day a friend was relaying to me a series of events in his life that seemed somewhat ironic and coincidental. He pointed out the fact that he doesn't believe in coincidence. And that "every, single thing in the world that happens was carefully constructed and weaved together.... and that nothing happens outside of God's perfect control."

I've heard this often from many different people.

This is interesting to me....

2009-03-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

What if...

In the beginning God decided to display His glory and power. And so He created man; a perfect, sinless creature, capable of reason and love. Relational by nature, fallable by design. Such a creature had never been seen in the Universe - unlike the angels, the principalities and powers, or any creature ever designed; the first of any to be described as embodying the image of God. Perhaps the angels looked on with amazed wonder as they witnessed this thing that God had made wholly for Himself, to walk with Him and talk with Him. To bring Him pleasure and glory.

Then man rejected the Creator who gave him life and breath and chose that which would glorify himself. God proclaimed condemnation on the man and on all his posterity, and the sin itself gripped the soul so tightly that men would forever lust after the corruption that was in their hearts.

But God, who was rich in mercy, instead of damning the whole world, set aside for Himself a remnant of the fallen world and set about His plan of redemption.

OR

God, who would violate no one's will, more specifically, desires for sin, set up an acquiesent plan for those who could overcome their sinful desires to love a holy and just Lord.

In the fullness of time God sent His Son as the ultimate love sacrifice to a lost and dying world. Sufficient to cover any sin and all sin, if only one believes...

OR

...even if one didn't.

That God might call to Himself those whom He set His love on and ensure the security of their eternal souls.

OR

That any who can find the way, earn the right of salvation. God loved no one more than anyone else, nor did He set a special love on Believers. They simply came out ahead of the rest of the pack.

- And yet, how few actually come to the knowledge of Him. -

Because He only chose some to be conformed to the image of His son.

OR

Because He designed everything in the world to be exactly as it would be. Because He created, ordained, foreknew, foresaw and still left the world to this plight - left sinners to fend for their own eternal wellbeing.

To all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints Romans 1:7

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28

And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. Romans 8:30

To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours. I Corinthians 1:2

To those who are called, beloved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ. Jude 1:1

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. I Peter 1:2-4

2009-03-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

Things I Am Thankful For:

* Ben's words of wisdom :o)

* Heather's burdens

* A Father who does all things well

* An amazing family and church

* Dee Dee's constant encouragement

* A voice that I might sing His praises

* Good jobs

* Experiencing love that I didn't know could even exist

* The way God made men

* My daddy

Can't Sleep

2009-03-03T21:19:00.000-08:00

So sometimes I feel like there's so much that runs around in my mind that I have to get out. Or like right now, I feel like there's absolutely nothing there but there should be...? Not sure. Kinda strange and I think maybe I just shouldn't drink coffee.

I was thinking about how strange it is how much your life can change in a very short amount of time. One day you think you have it all figured out, all the possiblities laid out before you, and a pretty good idea of where you're going and how to get there. Then all at once your world is turned upside down and things that were once certain you begin to doubt. Feelings you had, goals that mattered very much all fade into a background of uncertainty and wonder. "How does that happen?!" I really haven't the slightest idea. Other than to say that whenever you think you have an idea of what's going on, that's the best indication that something big, bad and most likely irrecoverable is going to happen. And so I bid you good luck, poor soul, who thinks he's got it all figured out. Maybe the goal here is to never think you have it all figured out... Not sure. But I feel like my life is a constant series of planning, being blindsided, adjusting, repeat. Not that that's bad or anything. But if you know me, you realize how difficult it is for me to not have the mirage of control. At least a little. Just a little? Please? Fine then. Be that way.

And furthermore, why is that faith - of which all we need is a mustard seed - is so incredibly difficult to come by and even more cumbersome to hold onto? I mean really, if there's one thing you'd think would be learnable, at least at some point, it would be to trust a God who's always provided for you, worked things out marvelously, and has promised not to leave or forsake you. Hmm. There must be something about human nature...

I was thinking about making a list of things that confuse me. Maybe I'll add to this as I come up with more things:
High schoolers
Blood flow in the thoracic cavity
Why the sky is blue
How my hair won't ever do what I want when I want
How exactly to work the bike at work
The essentiality of the gall bladder
The accomplishment of Old Testament salvation
Escatology
Binary Fission
How to spell "experiment"
Economics

I am a bit sore.

I'm pretty sure I have nothing pertinent to say at this point. Unfortunately for you, I will probably continue on for quite a while.

Oh, no probably not. I just got sleepy. And so, I shall go to bed.

Goodnight.

The Hiding Place

2009-02-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

The Hiding Place

Hail, sovereign love that first began,
The scheme to rescue fallen man;
Hail matchless free eternal grace,
That gave my soul a hiding place.

Against the God who rules the sky,
I fought with hand uplifted high,
Despised the mention of His grace,
Too proud to seek a hiding place.

Enwrapped in thick Egyptian night,
And fond of darkness more than light,
Madly I ran the sinful race,
Secure without a hiding place.

But thus th’ eternal counsel ran,
“Almighty Love, arrest that man!”
I felt the arrows of distress,
And found I had no hiding place.

Indignant justice stood in view,
To Sinai’s fiery mount I flew,
But Justice cried with frowning face,
“This mountain is no hiding place!”

Ere long a heavenly voice I heard,
And Mercy’s angel form appeared.
Who led me on with gentle pace,
To Jesus Christ, my hiding place.

On Him Almighty vengeance fell,
That must have sunk a world to hell;
He bore it for a chosen race,
And thus became their hiding place.

Should storms of sevenfold vengeance roll,
And shake this earth from pole to pole;
No flaming bolt could daunt my face,
For Jesus is my hiding place.

A few more rolling suns at most,
Shall land me safe on Heaven’s coast.
There I shall sing the song of grace,
To Jesus Christ, my hiding place!

I'm thinking about doing a special for church and singing this. I'd have to do a little arranging but the melody is so haunting and beautiful that I'm pretty sure I couldn't mess it up.

For some reason I really and truly love these lyrics. I guess partly due to the descriptive and poetic, yet very powerful words and allegory. It displays so passionately the plight of a sinful man in such a hideous rebellious state, and the beautiful grace that comes to his rescue. Who led me on with gentle pace~ how awesome that our Lord not only saves the lost, but even more, emphathizes with the frailty of his creation and the need to gently lead a man to Calvary.

I guess I'm just all too familiar with the "arrows of distress" when my guilty conscience was laid under seige and I truly found I had no Hiding Place. What grace! What matchless love that labored with my faltering soul! Who indeed, led me on with gentle pace, and continues to do so even now. My Lord knows my frailties, He remembers that I am only dust. He also knows exactly how to take my heart of stone and turn it into a heart of flesh - a heart capable of the utmost love and adoration for my Saviour. Where once there was only hate and death, now there is love and life...forevermore.

Have you found your Hiding Place?

Thankful

2008-10-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for:

Answered prayers

Forgiveness

My best friend

Being able to pay the bills

"Every remembrance of you"

Weddings

Family

Dreams that help you discover reality

Painful things

The strength to do what is right

My daddy

Cousins

The prospect of something new

2008-10-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Good morning, bright rays who first touch the sky
Your time is fleeting, The Time is nigh
For life is fading, and but a memory long ago
As the sun once rising, now is but a glow

Good morning, young children, you'd best be wise
For your life, too, is fleeting - don't just stand by
Though adulthood seems far, it will soon be on its way
So toil while you can, you dare not delay

Good morning, treasured loved ones, those you hold so dear
Never fail to be thankful, don't succumb to one fear
Remember your time is precious, always to speak from your heart
Remember that time is passing, and that we soon will part.

Good morning, oh hands, with your dreadful precision
Why can't you wait, give me just one more minute?
Please, I am begging, tarry one more breath
For the life just beginning now races towards death.

"Though Satan Should Buffet"

2008-10-07T20:06:00.001-07:00

Please excuse the ambiguity of this post. There's no reason for the lack of details other than I don't feel like typing it all out. And also let me preface this by saying that I'm really tired and I know that will add an emotional element that shouldn't necessarily be there. Let me also say I'm worn down and still haven't recovered from doubles last weekend and I'm much more than worn from my new boss feeling the need to yell too often. That said, you'll understand that this post is a culmination of many things going on in my life that have succeeded in getting me down, but I know it will pass.

I'm pretty sure I should have learned this by now, but every time life seems to be on the peaceful side of things a curve ball will inevitably follow leaving you blindsided, bruised and still not knowing what hit you. There really should be some sort of scientificy term for it. Murphy's law? Maybe.

My heart hurts and there's so much about people that I don't understand. How can someone call themselves a Christian and so often think of no one but themselves? How can someone who's lived twice my lifetime not understand that every decision you make will effect all those around you and especially those who love you the most?

Sometimes people create such sad situations and are in need of so much prayer. I know that it's never "too late" because God is always in control, but I also know that some decisions are well, irrecoverable.

Thought Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And has shed His own blood for my soul.